A crowd of 40 trans and queer APIs gather around a banner that reads "We have always EXISTED, we have always BELONGED."
A crowd of 40 trans and queer APIs gather around a banner that reads “We have always EXISTED, we have always BELONGED.”

What does hope make possible?

December 20, 2022 — By yuan

“To hope is dangerous, and yet it is the opposite of fear, for to live is to risk.”

– Rebeca Solnit, Hope in the Dark

Dear Lavender Phoenix Community,

My heart split open when I first learned about Jaxon. Jaxon, a young gay Korean adoptee, was found dead in suspicious circumstances in the home of a stranger. When his parents, Jim and Angie, pressed the SF Sheriff’s Department and Medical Examiner to learn how he died, they were told no further investigation was needed because the “[queer] community parties, and it often results in overdoses.” His parents fought for more than two years to learn more, and were dismissed and silenced at every turn by the systems they struggled against.

While Jaxon’s family fought for the truth they needed to heal, conservative forces took advantage of attacks on trans, queer, and API communities to advance violent solutions. We know police harass and criminalize us while having no impact on the real violence we face. Yet, in a bid to strengthen police power in San Francisco, Mayor Breed attempted to boycott the Pride Parade in solidarity with cops barred from marching in-uniform. Politicians across the Bay and the country have denounced anti-Asian attacks publically, while quietly ripping Southeast Asian refugees from their homes and deporting them. This year, Lavender Phoenix’s community faced relentless reasons to despair.

Yet, rather than give in, LavNix responded with hope: our living commitment to channel our grief into visionary solutions. Our Community Safety Committee organized a vigil with Jaxon’s family to demand accountability. Our Healing Justice Committee trained trans API peer counselors to provide free mental health support to our most isolated community members. We led workshops on community defense; organized trainings by-and-for trans APIs and queer Hmong youth to heal by making art; responded to global attacks on trans bodily autonomy by educating organizers across movements on trans justice; mentored a new generation of young trans and queer API organizers through the 13th year of our Summer Organizer Program; chose a new name to honor our histories; and so much more.

Image 2: Justice for Jaxon Sales! Image of Jaxon's altar from March 2022. Text reads: When we learned of Jaxon's death, we worked with his family to gather 100+ community members at City Hall to honor his life and call for truth and justice.While the SF Sheriff's Department denies Jaxon's family the truth they need to heal, powerful forces continue to take advantage of attacks on trans, queer, and API communities to advance policing and other violent solutions to harm. We continue to fight for true safety, & will honor Jaxon in all of our work.
Justice for Jaxon Sales! Image of Jaxon’s altar from March 2022. Text reads: When we learned of Jaxon’s death, we worked with his family to gather 100+ community members at City Hall to honor his life and call for truth and justice.While the SF Sheriff’s Department denies Jaxon’s family the truth they need to heal, powerful forces continue to take advantage of attacks on trans, queer, and API communities to advance policing and other violent solutions to harm. We continue to fight for true safety, & will honor Jaxon in all of our work.
LavNix program highlights: Community Safety: Trained 40+ trans and queer APIs in crisis response and community defense skills. Distributed 100+ free safety kits and virtual health and safety resources guides during Trans March. Healing Justice: Trained 80 healthcare workers on trans API competency in care. Developed 15 trans API counselors and provided free peer counseling to 8 trans API participants! Launched QTAPI Healer's Gathering to connect 7 community healers across practices! Culture Change: Trained 72 QTAPI storytellers and artists through new workshops, and launched "Letters to Our Past & Future Selves", our brand new zine!
LavNix program highlights. Community Safety: Trained 40+ trans and queer APIs in crisis response and community defense skills. Distributed 100+ free safety kits and virtual health and safety resources guides during Trans March. Healing Justice: Trained 80 healthcare workers on trans API competency in care. Developed 15 trans API counselors and provided free peer counseling to 8 trans API participants! Launched QTAPI Healer’s Gathering to connect 7 community healers across practices! Culture Change: Trained 72 QTAPI storytellers and artists through new workshops, and launched “Letters to Our Past & Future Selves”, our brand new zine!
Graphic (continued) on LavNix programs. Left section on Leadership Development: "Graduated 7 young QTAPI leaders in the 13th year of the Summer Organizer Program! Trained 25 organizers on feminist, values-based organizing skills through the 6-week Queer API Leadership Exchange (LEX)! Launched "This World Needs Us", a new training series for 7 BIPOC TGI movement partners!" Right section on Grassroots Fundraising: "Raised over $30,000 from more than 440 donors on Give OUT Day! Raised over $17,000 through our annual Fall Fundraiser!" The bottom right of the graphic contains photos of LavNix organizers in action.
Graphic (continued) on LavNix programs. Left section on Leadership Development: “Graduated 7 young QTAPI leaders in the 13th year of the Summer Organizer Program! Trained 25 organizers on feminist, values-based organizing skills through the 6-week Queer API Leadership Exchange (LEX)! Launched “This World Needs Us”, a new training series for 7 BIPOC TGI movement partners!” Right section on Grassroots Fundraising: “Raised over $30,000 from more than 440 donors on Give OUT Day! Raised over $17,000 through our annual Fall Fundraiser!” The bottom right of the graphic contains photos of LavNix organizers in action.

As powerful institutions use our safety as a bargaining chip to secure police power, it’s clear we must lead campaigns to divest from them, build our community’s connections, and invest in the real solutions that nourish us. In the next year, Lavender Phoenix will:

  • Support Jaxon Sales’ family to win truth and accountability for their son’s life
  • Expand our free trans API Peer Counseling Program to provide long-term support
  • Launch new trainings for trans and queer APIs to grow as life-long organizers
  • Develop Dragon Fruit Project teaching plans to disseminate queer API histories

Train organizers across movements to ask for help and lead sustainably, and more!

After Jaxon died, the pandemic shut down Jim and Angie’s plans for a funeral. While they fought hard to learn how Jaxon passed away, they never had a chance to fully celebrate his life. But this March, on the 3rd anniversary of his death, LavNix helped gather more than 100 of his family, friends, classmates, and queer community at City Hall to remember him. We laid pictures of him at an altar, and showered him with flowers. His mom, aunt and cousin shared memories of him that made us smile. Our comrades at Asian Refugees United led us in a prayer for him—a goodbye to our young ancestor.

That day, Jim and Angie shared how much it meant, after years of struggle, to realize that they weren’t alone in their grief. To learn for the first time that they had a community to support them in their struggle, every single day. This is the heart of our work at Lavender Phoenix: through the endless waves of pessimism that threaten to engulf us, we give each other an anchor. Our members have anchored me day-after-day this year through their courage, their care, and their commitment to winning a life-giving future. I’m excited for a new year to struggle and care for one another, until all of our people can thrive.

A photo of Jaxon smiling is surrounded by small photos of him with loved ones, and with flowers.
A photo of Jaxon smiling is surrounded by small photos of him with loved ones, and with flowers.

With love and in solidarity,

Yuan Wang

Director of Lavender Phoenix