Image Description: 11 trans and queer APIs pose together at Trans March; one is holding a sign that reads: Smash the Cis-tem!
Image Description: 11 trans and queer APIs pose together at Trans March; one is holding a sign that reads: Smash the Cis-tem!
by Connie | February 24, 2024

Building a community rooted in compassion and curiosity.

Apply to the Summer Organizer Program today!

I joined the Summer Organizer Program in 2016 when I knew very little about organizing and even less about Lavender Phoenix. I was placed at Lavender Phoenix (then APIENC) through a partner, Red Envelope Giving Circle, and found out I would be joining that summer’s cohort a week before the program started, as a last minute addition. I was entering my third year of college, yet to figure out what I wanted to do after graduating, and I showed up with almost no expectations besides wanting to make some new friends.

Image Description: 11 trans and queer APIs pose together at Trans March; one is holding a sign that reads: Smash the Cis-tem!
Image Description: 11 trans and queer APIs pose together at Trans March; one is holding a sign that reads: Smash the Cis-tem!

At the end of every day, I would ask my cohort if they wanted to hang out. One of these days, Anna, a fellow SOP, and I were headed in search of a snack. I remember the uninteresting gray walls of the elevator and its faded, but satisfying-to-push buttons as we descended to the ground floor of the Chinatown YMCA, but I can’t seem to remember what exactly we were talking about. What I do remember is that in the middle of our conversation, Anna interrupts me: “They/them. Jo’s pronouns are they/them.” 

Image Description: a black and white image of Connie, who is posing leaning over two wooden blocks. Connie is smiling, wearing glasses and a long sleeve shirt.
Image Description: a black and white image of Connie, who is posing leaning over two wooden blocks. Connie is smiling, wearing glasses and a long sleeve shirt.

Jo was another SOP in our cohort, and I struggled with learning their pronouns. It was embarrassing. Internally, I felt a sharp pang of guilt for messing up on something Jo had already told us was important to them. Externally, I brushed Anna off and moved on in the conversation. I wanted to get out of my feelings of discomfort as fast as possible.  It took a while to sink in, but something about the way Anna corrected me stuck with me. She was assertive and didn’t diminish my mistake. She was also kind and compassionate – her tone was supportive and had no hint of scolding, derision, or shame. It was my first time feeling like it was okay to make a mistake – I was allowed to mess up and could do better going forward.

I fell into my SOP summer with little understanding of how my conditions shaped my experience of the world and how that informed my connection to others. I was humbled every day as I learned, unlearned, and relearned how to navigate the world as a young QT Chinese-American with curiosity, compassion, and hope. It was Anna’s response in that moment that I credit for my ability to continue challenging myself to step outside of my comfort zone and face the unfamiliar. Anna believed in me to learn, so I should believe in myself too. 

Image Description: 2 masked trans and queer API folk present from a large sticky note whose title reads: Fundraising & Finance.
Image Description: 2 masked trans and queer API folk present from a large sticky note whose title reads: Fundraising & Finance.

My summer with Lavender Phoenix expanded my imagination for what I thought was possible for myself and my communities. I learned what it meant to build practices that cultivated nourishing and accountable relationships. After eight years, Lavender Phoenix continues to be my political home, a place where I can continue to grow my vision for the world we all deserve with people who practice the same values of care and compassion that Anna showed me all those years ago. 

Wherever you are on your journey, if you are ready to build a community rooted in compassion and curiosity, I encourage you to join Lavender Phoenix. Apply for the 2024 Summer Organizer Program today! Applications are due 2/28.

APPLY TODAY!